Rizzle Kicks’ Blog


Just A Quick Sum Up of The Last Week Or So…
October 18, 2009, 11:00 pm
Filed under: Rants!, Updates! | Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Umm.. I haven’t really posted much recently apart from the video I made for Fuck Loadsa Dubstep, but in the last week there have been a few things here and there that I’ve wanted to blog about individually but I haven’t got round to it. Just things I’ve come across whilst on board the rollercoaster that is life. From the newspaper to OK magazine.

Anyway, here is a simply amazing snippet from the Metro.

“A prisoner who stabbed his girlfriend to death has been blocked in his legal bid to study homicide and domestic violence as part of an Open University course.

Stanley Matthews yesterday told the High Court the decision amounted to a violation of his human right to education and freedom of expression.”

Yeah, well I reckon his girlfriend might think he violated her human rights a bit as well?

I also read another story about a victim of a serial killer with a hair fetish called… Ms. Barnett.

No word of a lie no hype.

Another thing, has anyone else had the misfortune of stumbling across an OK magazine and then opened it at the ‘Katie Price’ agony aunt page?

Well if you ever do, prepare to be thoroughly shocked to the core. If you happen to bump into me, I’ll happily tell you the rest of these stories, however, just to emphasise a point I just want to give you the first sentence of two stories that I read.

“I’m 18 years old with two children and have had the misfortune of a miscarriage…”

Woah. I’m thinking the story should stop there, seriously. Next one.

“I’m 13 and I’ve recently started using the family’s vibrator.”

WOAH. The FAMILY’s vibrator. What is there like a rotary system or something?

Aaah, craziness. Punchline is, these people are asking KATIE PRICE for help? What kind of advice could she possible give?

“Well why not get a boob job, write a book and marry a mediocre singer then break up with him and get your tits out?”

Innit.

Advertisements


Frankie Boyle Is Still The Don…
September 18, 2009, 6:31 am
Filed under: Things I Like. | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Frankie Boyle is definitely still on top when it comes to straight up killer comedy. I was starting to get a bit bored of watching Mock the Week repeats on Dave because even though it was still funny, Frankie reused the jokes he told on the show on his live DVD, which I also have, so it was getting a bit tedious. HOWEVER! Last night was a new episode of Mock the Week and both him and that other guy who used to be in ‘My Hero’ were quality. One joke that properly got me was during the ‘Scenes we’d like to see’ round, and ‘Thing you wouldn’t hear on a children’s television programme’. Frankie stepped up and said (in his amazing scottish accent)…

“I’ve heard that the Teletubbies have been penetrated by Al Qaeda.

Is this true Tinky Winky? Noooooo (In teletubbie language)

Is this true Dipsy? Noooooo

Do you think it’s true Rashid?”