Rizzle Kicks’ Blog


Phone Texting Chat Bollocks?
November 17, 2009, 2:57 am
Filed under: Rants! | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Well, basically due to a decision to go to a mates with some other mates for a session I’ve now fucked my sleeping pattern and don’t at all feel a need to sleep at half 2. So instead I feel like winging about something.

Everytime it starts to get later and later and edge towards early hours, adverts begin to change. They’ll go from adverts for the next big film, or adverts for Asda, to… (Chavvy/Sexy voice needed) “Text FUN to 8541, and connect with sluts across the country”. Why?! Who’s actually doing this? Also, if there is in fact a market for people who take part in mindless activities like “Texting people in their area” at stupid hours in the morning, because if you do apparently there’s going to be someone around the corner who’s doing/wants the same thing, then why don’t they at least market these things a bit better. These adverts are literally the scummiest things on TV. They’re the TV equivalent of a public toilet or something… You’d prefer not to, but if you’re pissed or got nowhere else to go.. you have to. They hire in the worst most unattractive females to put on the most unconvincing show, pretending that they actually would bother to text this number. That’s how scummy it is! Not even they would text in! To be fair, the girls they use aren’t repulsive, they’re just all the type that you might find in an awkward situation round the back of a club, but think of the few girls that would aaactually use the service? In fact! I say it’s not repulsive.. I saw one not too long ago where it was advertising the options to text “Over 60s”, which cued a shot of a women who was pretty much my Gran just lay back on a sofa in just a fur jacket looking mentally insane . Aaaah and don’t even get my started on the backing music! And the way they pretend to text and then look at the camera with the most forced smile as though they’re at gunpoint. Also, how stupid is it that men might expect a “Like minded” girl to be “round the corner”, even though they only ever advertise towards men.. so why would women be texting in? I need to sleep.


Just A Quick Sum Up of The Last Week Or So…
October 18, 2009, 11:00 pm
Filed under: Rants!, Updates! | Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Umm.. I haven’t really posted much recently apart from the video I made for Fuck Loadsa Dubstep, but in the last week there have been a few things here and there that I’ve wanted to blog about individually but I haven’t got round to it. Just things I’ve come across whilst on board the rollercoaster that is life. From the newspaper to OK magazine.

Anyway, here is a simply amazing snippet from the Metro.

“A prisoner who stabbed his girlfriend to death has been blocked in his legal bid to study homicide and domestic violence as part of an Open University course.

Stanley Matthews yesterday told the High Court the decision amounted to a violation of his human right to education and freedom of expression.”

Yeah, well I reckon his girlfriend might think he violated her human rights a bit as well?

I also read another story about a victim of a serial killer with a hair fetish called… Ms. Barnett.

No word of a lie no hype.

Another thing, has anyone else had the misfortune of stumbling across an OK magazine and then opened it at the ‘Katie Price’ agony aunt page?

Well if you ever do, prepare to be thoroughly shocked to the core. If you happen to bump into me, I’ll happily tell you the rest of these stories, however, just to emphasise a point I just want to give you the first sentence of two stories that I read.

“I’m 18 years old with two children and have had the misfortune of a miscarriage…”

Woah. I’m thinking the story should stop there, seriously. Next one.

“I’m 13 and I’ve recently started using the family’s vibrator.”

WOAH. The FAMILY’s vibrator. What is there like a rotary system or something?

Aaah, craziness. Punchline is, these people are asking KATIE PRICE for help? What kind of advice could she possible give?

“Well why not get a boob job, write a book and marry a mediocre singer then break up with him and get your tits out?”


The Hills.
September 22, 2009, 9:11 pm
Filed under: Rants! | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Riiiight. Ok, I’d firstly like to state that since I first set eyes on this program I’ve avoided it like the plague.

I really didn’t see any point in watching a reality TV program that “may have scenes created for entertainment purposes”. In other words, fake. Very annoying. In addition the lead characters are so annoying in the way that they seem to make a clearly, great, comfortable, glamorous lifestyle look like a desperate struggle.

Oh no I’m going to have to find another penthouse apartment. Oh I think I’m going to have to move in with my new hunk of a boyfriend. Oh no this internship at a top fashion magazine where I get to go to loads of showbiz parties whilst having myself filmed 24/7 is sooo hard. I wasn’t and am still not havin’ any of it. Mate.

Saying all this, I found myself kind of, ish, slightly intrigued/gripped by the brief 20 minutes I caught on e4 today…. BUT… for two (I think) pretty darn good reasons!

1. Lauren (The lead chick) is now a definite hottie.



2. I actually reckon a gritty english version of this might be worth a watch.. called like ‘The Curbs’ or ‘The Estates’… possible main characters:

No Make-up Needed.

No Make-up Needed.

Stupidest Most Annoyingest Thing Ever.
September 20, 2009, 9:04 pm
Filed under: Rants! | Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Right. You know Mars milkshake drinks have that tin foil opening mechanism…. I am DEFINITELY NOT a fan in the slightest. Sure, it’s great if you’ve got enough time to be able to slowly remove it whilst being fully aware of what you’re doing.. but if you’ve purchased the drink on the go.. which I’m thinking is it’s intention seeing as it’s got ‘Refuel’ written all over it.. you can’t really pay it that kind of TLC.

AND.. if they haaave to use this stupid foil thing, then why do they fill the shake right up to the top! I think that’s the one time I wouldn’t complain about losing a little bit of money I spent. Personally, I’d prefer to have like, 10ml or whatever, less drink, then have to walk around London with the repercussions of not opening it properly all over my top. As I had to do today. Not happy.

Ima sue.



If You Want…
September 18, 2009, 10:34 pm
Filed under: Rants! | Tags: , , , ,

You’re whole life to revolve around the many options on a f*cking mobile phone that’s way more advanced than it’s need to be..

there’s an app for that.


Kanye West MTV 2009… Being A D*ick
September 14, 2009, 7:22 pm
Filed under: Rants!, Youtube! | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Kanye West…..Look, firstly I just want to state how.. a few years ago.. I had just as much love for Kanye as everyone else did.He’s a ridiculously good producer and record maker, loved his first two albums.. he can be a wicked writer as well.. and that’s why he deservedly got so much appreciation.But suddenly he’s turned into.. well.. a bit of a prick really. I first clocked it at the Brit Awards when he received Best International Male and said ‘This means noones better than me’, but I recall him redeeming himself musically. Oh and he had that hissy fit about his ‘Touch the Sky’ video which was just ridiculous.And now he’s decided to do it again.. this time completely wrecking Taylor Swifts..err.. moment.. even though I’m not a great fan of hers.. she still won it, and Mr.West has no right to say his piece. Not everyone has to have his effin opinion! Yeah cool mate I thought that a few videos were pretty quality this year but I’m not going to storm on stage and declare to people who are only going to look at me and go..’What a dick’.He’s needs to sort it out. Seriously. I actually want him to read this.. I’ll give you an argument. I will win. It’d be nice to get a bit of attention off you being such a baby. Wow, this annoyed me.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

more about “Kanye West MTV 2009… Being A D*ick“, posted with vodpod

A Poo At Pauls?!
September 13, 2009, 8:51 pm
Filed under: Rants! | Tags: , , ,

Mate. I’m not being funny or anything. But that advert on TV for those kid toilet paper things where the kid asks to,

“Have a poo at Pauls”

Is slightly effed up really. Firstly, I would have thought with the whole Pedophile thing being such a fragile topic at the moment, they could have chosen a better way to emphasise how comfortable these toilet thingys are. Also, they can’t even try and blag that it’s a mate that he’s talking about cause what kind of 6 year old is called ‘Paul’?

Generally not a very good advert really… and I haven’t even commented on the dubbing. 


Jeremy Kyle…
June 24, 2009, 10:00 am
Filed under: Rants! | Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Is definitely topping my list for the most amusing way to waste hours of the day. Some of the quotes that come from the complete nutters that appear on there….


Jeremy: “How many women have you slept with?”

Nutter: “Errr… about 260”

Jeremy: “Why on earth would women want to sleep with you!?”

Nutter: “Lets just say they call me the wang”


Jeremy: “So explain to me how you met your wife…”

Another Nutter: “She was my dealer”


Crazy Woman 1: “She’s just a smackhead”

Crazy Woman 2: “Call me a smackhead one more time and I’ll smack your head”