Everytime it starts to get later and later and edge towards early hours, adverts begin to change. They’ll go from adverts for the next big film, or adverts for Asda, to… (Chavvy/Sexy voice needed) “Text FUN to 8541, and connect with sluts across the country”. Why?! Who’s actually doing this? Also, if there is in fact a market for people who take part in mindless activities like “Texting people in their area” at stupid hours in the morning, because if you do apparently there’s going to be someone around the corner who’s doing/wants the same thing, then why don’t they at least market these things a bit better. These adverts are literally the scummiest things on TV. They’re the TV equivalent of a public toilet or something… You’d prefer not to, but if you’re pissed or got nowhere else to go.. you have to. They hire in the worst most unattractive females to put on the most unconvincing show, pretending that they actually would bother to text this number. That’s how scummy it is! Not even they would text in! To be fair, the girls they use aren’t repulsive, they’re just all the type that you might find in an awkward situation round the back of a club, but think of the few girls that would aaactually use the service? In fact! I say it’s not repulsive.. I saw one not too long ago where it was advertising the options to text “Over 60s”, which cued a shot of a women who was pretty much my Gran just lay back on a sofa in just a fur jacket looking mentally insane . Aaaah and don’t even get my started on the backing music! And the way they pretend to text and then look at the camera with the most forced smile as though they’re at gunpoint. Also, how stupid is it that men might expect a “Like minded” girl to be “round the corner”, even though they only ever advertise towards men.. so why would women be texting in? I need to sleep.

Also, we had a nice little bit put about us on the Liberty Magazine’s website, which is also cool.. Apart from they call Rizzle ‘Dizzle’ but that’s an easy mistake to make…

Anyway, here is a simply amazing snippet from the Metro.

“A prisoner who stabbed his girlfriend to death has been blocked in his legal bid to study homicide and domestic violence as part of an Open University course.

Stanley Matthews yesterday told the High Court the decision amounted to a violation of his human right to education and freedom of expression.”

Yeah, well I reckon his girlfriend might think he violated her human rights a bit as well?

I also read another story about a victim of a serial killer with a hair fetish called… Ms. Barnett.

No word of a lie no hype.

Another thing, has anyone else had the misfortune of stumbling across an OK magazine and then opened it at the ‘Katie Price’ agony aunt page?

Well if you ever do, prepare to be thoroughly shocked to the core. If you happen to bump into me, I’ll happily tell you the rest of these stories, however, just to emphasise a point I just want to give you the first sentence of two stories that I read.

“I’m 18 years old with two children and have had the misfortune of a miscarriage…”

Woah. I’m thinking the story should stop there, seriously. Next one.

“I’m 13 and I’ve recently started using the family’s vibrator.”

WOAH. The FAMILY’s vibrator. What is there like a rotary system or something?

Aaah, craziness. Punchline is, these people are asking KATIE PRICE for help? What kind of advice could she possible give?

“Well why not get a boob job, write a book and marry a mediocre singer then break up with him and get your tits out?”

Innit.